Moving with Children
By the time you are a parent you will almost certainly have lived in several homes. However, children might have only ever known one home and moving from it can be a significant upheaval. This can be compounded if you are leaving for a new life elsewhere, particularly if that is interstate.
Here are some ways to make the move easier for your children to process and deal with.
Before you move
Involve your children from the start. Parents often assume that the less time children have to worry about moving the better, but this just isn’t so. Kids are perceptive and will pick up on what’s going on so don’t leave them out of the loop. They need time to get used to the idea of moving and you’re the best person to help them understand.
Whenever possible, take your children with you when you inspect properties. Ask them for their opinions and views and where possible try to include these in the final decision. Whilst they are not going to make the final decision, it is important that they feel part of the process. You might feel it’s appropriate to discuss the reasons behind your choice when you’ve made it.
If you can’t take them with you, take photos of the home, the garden, and the local area. Then you can show your children and talk about the move. You could ask them to help you research the new area on the internet. Talk about what they have found. This is a good way to gauge how they are feeling if they are excited or apprehensive about moving. If you are moving to a new area, find out about local facilities for children, schools and the benefits of living there.
It is important to be positive about the move. Kids will pick up on your emotions and feelings towards moving. Make sure that your children feel involved. Sit down and work out a moving checklist. Plan the design and furniture layout of their bedrooms so that they feel part of the move.
Leaving your old home
Encourage your children to tell their friends that they are moving. Help them collect email addresses and phone numbers so that they can keep in touch with friends once they have moved.
Your children will probably feel a mixture of emotions leaving their old home. It’s good to let them know that you feel the same way too. Show them that you understand how they feel: excited to be going somewhere new, but sad to be leaving your old home and friends behind.
A few weeks before you leave, think about the special places that you go to. If you have a favourite park or cafe you could make a special trip one last time before you leave.
Moving day
Get younger children to make moving labels and stick them on the boxes with their toys and clothes in. They could draw on some of the boxes with crayons so that they can recognise their boxes in the new home.
If your children are very young, you might want to ask a friend to look after them to keep them out of the way of the removal men. You can bring them back to say goodbye to the house when it is all packed up.
Pack one box with the essentials that you will need when you get to your new home. Pack it last so it is first off the truck. Include things like a kettle, towels, bedding, favourite toys, toiletries, toilet paper and some food.
Find out where the nearest supermarket, takeaway or restaurant is to your new home and check the opening hours. Then you’ll know where to go to get your family’s favourite food when you arrive.
Once your property has been emptied take a final walk through with your children. Compare how it feels now with how it felt with all your furniture and belongings. This can help your children understand that what makes a home is the family and all your personal belongings, books, pictures, toys and furniture.
Moving in
When you arrive at your new home it is tempting to try and unpack everything all at once. Take care of your children’s new rooms first so that they can have familiar things around them. Then unpack the rooms you use most like the kitchen and family living room.
Although there will be disruption when you move, try and re-establish family routines like bedtimes and mealtimes as soon as possible. Young children benefit from routines and it will help them to settle in. It also sends a clear message that you are still the same family and the same rules still apply, you are just in a new home.
If possible, allow your children some input into the setting up of their bedrooms: this is their space in your new home.
Children can have problems sleeping in new rooms so take some time to talk to them about how this room is different from their old room.
Perhaps there were things that they didn’t like about their old room like a creaky floorboard, help them see the good things about their new room.
After the Move
Once you’ve moved into your new place it will take a few weeks to settle in and get used to things. It’s important to keep talking to your family and stay positive. If you all get involved with the community (meet the neighbours, get involved at school) both you as parents and your children will settle in quicker.
